I ran into my childhood friend at the mall today, who's a gal by the way. We haven't met up for a long, long time since I was away for college. I did attend her wedding nevertheless. Anyway, I was so shocked and angry when she introduced to me the ugly gal who stood beside her was the husband. I thought .. OH MY GOD .. she turned to a lesbian? While still trying to digest that .. she clarified that "the gal" was her original husband who had underwent a sex change procedure. I was literally speechless. My jaw just dropped at that point. They have two kids. While the "old husband" gone inside to check out the shop, she told me that she doesn't know what else to do. She had asked for a divorce but he threatened suicide. He's not working and has no money or medical insurance. He needs to get treatment after the procedure. My gosh ... I thought I only see things like this on the news, in drama, or books but it actually happened to my friend. I don't know how to help her or what to say but smile a bit and told her to take it easy; that things will work out. That just to tell ya'll how shocked I was ... couldn't even think of what to say or what's appropriate to do ... This man is a coward and selfish. He chose his path but reluctant to let his wife go .. worst of all, he's living off of her. FYI, she's not even rich. She's only an elementary school teacher who's in her early thirties .. I could tell she's totally stressed out cuz she'd grown so old. She's such a nice person and I just never picture her like that ... but a happy family. I feel really sad for her and her children.
tough spot for her to be in if she mentions anything resembling a divorce, she might put her children in danger.
To be honest I think your friend should just let her husband commit suicide I personally dislike worthless people who cant make their own living. If you tell me he is disabled or something I will allow it but not this transgender fucked up shit. Imagine the children growing up with a with that kind of father'' Get some of her friends and family to persuade her to dump that useless piece of shit, I am sure she can fine another man
she needs a divorce its good to know he figured out his gender issues but not after he is already married with kids and to use suicide to lock her up wow.
I can picture you being shocked, don't think anyone won't be hearing something like that out of nowhere. Still, she have to do what's best for her and her kids, this husband has issues, if he's going to have a sex change and not work, what good is he. Whether he off himself or not, that's his choice. She's still young, why take that crap from a him. With his mental state of mind, I would worry about her safety and her kids more.
People who threaten suicide in these instances almost never carry out their threats; the purpose behind which is to achieve some sort of gain. If he was genuinely suicidal, he would have said so without the preconditions of her leaving. Hence, tell him "go ahead." He'll yell and scream but in the end, realize that he can't use that anymore method to extort her anymore and then resort to something else. Neg is right; he she, whatever, is being a selfish bastard. She should talk to a good divorce lawyer.
Yeah Ralph .. I was like .. if someone wanna commit suicide, they're not gonna say but just do it. I thought about the situation lately and I am not all pissed anymore. Perhaps her saying of don't know what else to do is just to get something off her chest kinda feeling to an old friend; rather than actually trying to find a resolve. I am sure that if she wants a divorce badly, she wouldn't have done it regardless. I am guessing she's still love this guy. Her love doesn't change just because he's a gal now too .. perhaps not intimate love now but family love. After all, he's her children's father; can't just kick him out of her life. He might be a coward and selfish but he hasn't done anything to hurt her .. cheating or whatsoever. Like the old Chinese proverb .. 一個願打 一個願捱 .. when there's no love .. people can be as cold as ice.
As an elementary human motivation to survive a person would, if s/he could, fit into a normal and expected life style in a community. This is because most people want to optimise effort against benefits. Your friend's husband was brave to seek a lifestyle, though unusual is not uncommon around the world, for whatever the reason, that we shall never know, and this is not material, he/she should be allowed freedom of expression and choice. I am sure that he/she would not be doing what is unusual to the external observer if it was not beneficial for him/her. As to whether the external observer should respect and support such a person I think that we should as part of the randomness or diversification of humanity or normal acts of nature. On the basis that there is , for example, one such person out of 100,000, I do think 99,999 others should have enough excess productivity to support a person to live happily with social support and benefits. (Look at this in another way, if one works 8 hours per day, this is 28,800 working seconds per day per person which when divided by 99,999 people means each person has to work 0.28 sec per day and donate that money to him/her as daily benefits support.) The world/god/nature has brought about all creatures great and small and they all deserve a reasonable life time on earth. Remember this when he or she is brought before Jesus, Allah, Buddha, etc. the reverent holiness treats him/her the same as everyone. So have compassion to a fellow human being. The children of the earth inherit all the earth's goodness, no one should deny anyone else, who has done no wrong, a living. I vote no to suicide or unhappiness. He is in no way a coward nor selfish. His style of gender in his mind is similar to what black style skin to a person. He should not get discrimination in the same way a black skin person should not deserve racial prejudice. I do sincerely hope that you would support your friend. Your friend's husband brain chemistry is just different but this is due to diversity of natural forces and in no way he is in the wrong.
Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird... it's a plane... NO! ...It's the point of the discussion that flew right over your head. Sorry, but we're not arguing about the man's right to his own choice of sexuality, but rather his emotional extortion of a woman he isn't attracted to in order to have financial support. Let him be gay, trans, or whatever he wants to be; I don't have a problem with that. But let him do it on his own dime. Or else if you feel so strongly about it, then maybe you should start financially supporting him; or better yet, let him force you to financially support him, like he's doing to her. That's why we're calling him selfish. Maybe you want to set up a fund for him and entreat the rest of humanity to support him, but know that it isn't about black skin, sexual orientation or prejudice, it's about MONEY, plain and simple. And IMHO, there are many many worthy causes before this one; poverty, education, homelessness... Yes, I too vote NO to suicide; as I also vote NO to extortion. She needs to say good bye to his emotion blackmail; if he threatens suicide, then CALL THE POLICE so that he gets the help he needs. Then professionals will determine just how serious of a suicide risk he is.
That's why we are family and offer mutual support, this principle is scaleable from home, to an extended relatives, a village, a town, a city and to a nation! You are right that burden should not fall on a few and that's why we have the "insurance" of a tax/benefit system. I pay into a national pot of tax so that I can be part of a collective responsibility. A physical disability should be treated as a mental disability. This gender issue can happen to anyone , happens too in nature for other animals. What would you do if it happened to your family or to your child hood friend? As was the case with the OP who did state that this was out of the blue, something that one only read in the news. I would suggest that one must not be judgmental. Go to experience how these people live and think. I have not had this experience myself but I did a job that rehabilitated drug addicts and alcoholics, the so called social outcast, and until you see them in front of you you would not know this facade of humanity, of course, there is a dark side but no one chooses to be such when born.
You're still missing the point. This isn't about gender, it's all about money, as in, "I have an issue; give me your money. If you don't then I'll do something you won't like."
If my significant other or family member threatened me with suicide in order to remain in a loveless marriage with the sole purpose of leeching financial support off of me, I will drop them like a rock and happily move on with my life. With no regrets. S/he can take his/her freedom of expression to heaven/hell/black hole with him/her.
What I'm getting from this discussion is the fact that some people, because of their affinity to an issue, allows it to cloud their judgment to the point of detriment. Like some, who tolerate murder because the culprit is "one of us" or the same member of a national or ethnic group; who tolerate rape because the guy was a member of their team; who tolerate fraud because the woman was member of their professional society, it's become clear here that some will also tolerate extortion because the guy is transgender. Equality means equal responsibility; I don't discriminate based on race or gender nor sexual orientation. If they commit the crime, then they should be judged accordingly. The women in the OP post should call the relevant authorities to get the person the help he needs; by allowing him to extort money from her, she is a victim but also an enabler.
