"We fought couple of times over this issue and I don’t want to let this break us apart. " What did you both fight about? And how much do you think he should pay? Were there other instances that might've made him feel that dowry is important aside from your one-off story, perhaps the way your parents interact with him ? You also didn't mention what your thoughts on the marriage with him are and you only said "he thinks you're the one." What are your thoughts of him? Is the the one for you?
The problem is very easy to resolve. Obviously he has already formed a certain expectation on the amount of dowry that he should give. If it is within his ability to save over a period, then let him do it. This will satisfy his personal issue. At your end, you can work out with your parents privately what their actual expectations are on the dowry. If there is a surplus, then agree with your parents upfront that the surplus will go towards some kind of savings for your future. After all, the money ends up within the family.
Finances are definitely a breaker in relationships that's for sure...hopefully it all works out is all I have to offer.
May be you have self denial about your true intentions without you knowing what you did in your subconcious. You have been going out together for three years. If your man is no fool and has used trending based on your past signals. Did you give "hints" to him many times before to suggest him to do something without saying candidly? May be you did this too many times therefore your man has taken your latest hint as yet another one of those subtle hints. Moreover. a person bases his stubborness on past strong experiences and have you two been to wedding parties where the benchmark expenditure is $30k+? If you did therein your answer. There is no trust in your relationship over this issue. I think you two have some gaps to bridge. The gaps are typical as many often see a dollar bigger than the moon. Face to splash out on a wedding is thicker than the pig's skin. Love is hard when these feelings prevail.
I don't agree with surplus. I had a similar line of questioning for Sindee, but her responses seem to not indicate any fault on her side. Some people are just overly sensitive, eg getting mad over small things, lack of confidence that causes him/her to hold grudges etc. I'm sure it's a problem that can be overcome.
