A Quick Read

Discussion in 'Fan Fix' started by AbZoNyX, Aug 26, 2010.

  1. AbZoNyX

    AbZoNyX Well-Known Member

    Breaking chains of memories
    Forgotten like hated enemies
    The scream of oneself's soul
    Black to red like burning coal
    Overflowing, unwanted thoughts
    Unshaken heart that bleeds and rots
    Brooding shadows of regret
    Wishes of encounters never met
    Unbegetting of emotion
    Emotion coveting corrosion
    Longing for property of another
    Bring naught but unwanted smother
    Smokes of invisible fire
    Warmth of an unseen pyre
    Signals of an abandonned maker
    Vained plights too oblivious to her
    Presence that is futile to recall
    An impassable, impervious wall
    Produced by intolerable ignorance
    One is not to blame
    To not have seen him since

    Does anybody read these poems?
    Just curious.
    Afterall the only thing I'm seeking is the illusion of attention, as though somebody cares.
    #1 AbZoNyX, Aug 26, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2010
  2. Essentially is this poem about a girls internal struggle with coping with the absence of a man she cares about?

    The poem loses a bit of flow towards the end but overall decent.
  3. AbZoNyX

    AbZoNyX Well-Known Member

    I forgot to mention I wanted constructive criticism. But thanks your criticism was constructive.