Untitled (working title) w.i.p

Discussion in 'Fan Fix' started by hadouken, Aug 3, 2007.

  1. Another one of my stories i never got around to finishing, last touched '05 as i quickly realized writing love dramas wasn't my cup of tea (they are for girls!) Anyways, Fantasy/Horror intrests me more

    Better to be posted here then never.

    Her Story His-story

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    Ji Hyun took the bus home that night, tired as she worked twelve hours waitressing drinks and setting up pool balls at the local billard. Her younger brother and sister greeted her as she unlocked the door to her apartment.

    Her five year old sister nudged her "Ji Hyun we're hungry! You came home late and mom's sleeping"

    "Did you wake her up?" asked Ji Hyun

    "Nope we didn't"

    "Good, you're the best sibilings anyone could have" She smiled at them and they smiled back

    "Jun, you're starting school tommorow i'll take you in the morning along with your sister"

    "Yay! I can't wait," Jun was excited and he ran around the living room yelling "School school school!"

    Ji put a finger to her lips "Shhhhh don't wake up mom"

    "I'm sorry Ji" Jun then put a finger on his lips mimicing Ji and how brows went up, he looked so cute Ji couldn't stop smiling.

    "Ok guys i'm off to the kitchen to get us some food hang on"

    "Yay!" shouted them both

    Jun put a finger to his lips "mommy's sleeping Yun, shhhhh"

    You're right Yun replied and she she followed putting a finger on her lips too.

    Ji opened the refridgerator, checked the cupboards and realized there wasn't much to eat.

    "Now guys you'll have to share this bowel of noodles ok? It's not much but i'll buy something tommorow"

    "Ok Ji how bout we order Chinese food tommorow?" asked her younger sister Yun

    "Oh.. well you see sister's trying to save money Jun, so we don't have money for that anymore but wait.." She walked over to the kitchen and and came back with both her hands clutched over something "Guess what it is?"

    "Magic beans?" answered Jun

    "No no it's a golden egg" replied Yun

    "You're both wrong" Ji opened up her hands and there she held an egg "You can have an egg in your noodles"

    "Yay!" replied the two

    She broke the shell in half and the yolk slid into the hot steaming bowel as the children waited for it to boil.

    "You guys enjoy and if you need anything i'll be in my room" Ji was so tired, she hand't showered or changed she feel asleep the moment she touched her bed.

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    Chapter 2

    "Hey boss can i leave early?"

    "What? I hope you're not planning on making this a habit."

    "No boss i need to go somewhere tonight"

    "Ok Seon i'll give you tonight off but please try not to do this again"

    "Don't worry boss i won't! and thank you very much!"

    Seon Soon quickly slid off his apron and picked up the bag containing box rice and fried noodles

    "Where you going with that Seon? There's no delivery right now"

    "It's rice and fried noddless," He walked out the door turning his back "Put it on my paycheck boss!"

    He walked down to the street not far from the resturant from where he worked and made towards a big old shacky apartment.
    He waited at the entrence while an old lady unlocked the door to sneak through.

    "Floor 16 floor 16 yes..."

    He had the food in his hand and he smiled stopping at room number 556. He knocked on the door and it took awhile for someone to come answering.

    "Who is it?" The door peaked open just a crack protected behind a metal fence.

    "It's Seon, I'm delivering chinese food to this address"

    "Yay! Sister lied she ordered chinese food"

    The door opened up and Seon was invited in.

    "Where's your sister?" asked Seon

    "She's in her room" replied Yun

    "Does she know I'm here?" asked Seon

    "Nope" replied Jun

    "You mean you opened the door without telling your sister?"

    "Ohhh I'm sorry" said Yun

    "Shhh i won't tell her but don't do it again next time ok?"

    "We promise" replied the kids

    Seon Set the food down and the children began to devour it.

    He was just aboout to leave when Ji suprised him from behind.

    "What are you doing here? I didn't order any chinese food, and how did you get in? Did the kids open the door without telling me?"

    "No wait.." said Seon

    "Wait here" replied Ji

    He could hear her yelling at the children from the peak of the door, "Why did you open doors to strangers?! Why didn't you tell me before opening it?", "But sister its Seon" "He only delivers us food? we don't even know him!, What if that food was poison? You don't even know him!"

    He could hear one of the children crying, then joined the other crying along.

    He called out standing from the door "Ji its not their fault i only wanted to.."

    She broke his sentence "How come you're here? We haven't ordered any food of lately" she looked as if she was about to cry.

    "I was in the neighbour and since you used to order so much i thought it'd...." His sentence was broken by another female voice coming from inside.

    "Ji come here where are you? Ji" shouted her mother from one of the rooms,
    her eyes bagan to tear and she turned away before he could see it.

    "Please close the door behind you" and she walked turning her back behind him.

    Seon slowly closed the door and walked away. He felt a strange sense of sadness as he walked home thinking about what just happened.

    Beep Beep Beep

    He fliped open his phone.

    "Well Seon how did it go? With your mystery girl"

    "I'm not in the mood for it" replied Seon

    "But you've been seeing her for ages right? Always sneaking extra into her food, like i didn't notice, did she say anything?"

    "I told ya im not in the mood!" and he hung up the phone.

    Later that night he took a long look into the mirror and he thought about it, the way he looked he knew he'd never have a chance with a girl like her.

    "What am i doing Seon what am i doing?" He slapped himself hard, many times over until his face went numb. You know you're ugly what are you doing Seon?!"

    He cried that night, he hadn't done so in many years. The feelings he'd been surpressing all these many months blaming himself, blaming his charm, but in fact he was going through hard times not knowning what to place it on, he later feel alseep on his own tears.
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    Chapter 3

    Ji Hyun awoke early that morning, in fact she needed the sleep but today was her brothers big day, he was starting school for the very first time and she had to be ready for it. It was seven in the morning and the sun hadn't fully arosed. Ji was in the mood for walking, she felt strange and a sense of emptyness tingled in her stomach. It was not from hunger nor was it from saddness, it was empty and if she were asked to describe it in words, she wouldn't know what to say. She took a long walk stopping to visit a convience store, a hospital then a park, she sat on a wooden bench under a shady tree. The orange sun was slowly arousing and it's light reflecting slowly creeping towards her, surely touching her feet before it stopped under the shades a top. She pulled her foot back into the shades while her eyes gazed into the street as people walked by, most had their school bags on. She began to reminisce about her high school days and how happy she used to be during that time. It all seemed like yesterday, going out, hanging with the gals, picking up boys with not a care in the world. But it was all different now. Seventeen years old her father died that year, along with her two best friends in a car accident heading to her birthday party. She had told them to drive faster, pushing them to be here. Speed was the factor of the accident, that she blamed it on, never letting it go. She quit school that year, and her friends became distant friends while she worked to support her family. That was two years ago and she missed yet hated every moment of it wishing to be almost non existant.
    "Ding ding ding ding ding!" A school teacher was waving a bell ushering the school children inside.
    "Oh no school's started!" she quickly realized that she'd forgotten all about her siblings and she rushed home taking the cab as quick as she could. "Oh my god im so sorry Jun im so sorry" she fiddled the keys unlocking the metal fence then the door behind it. The clock on the wall said nine thirty and school had started half an hour ago. She called for the kids but there was no answer "Jun Yun?!" she checked their rooms and it was empty. Panic set in, "Jun Yun are you there?" She ran to her mothers room and to her suprise she wasn't there either.
    Ji walked to the bathroom and drenched her face in cold water, releaved that something horrible hadn't happen to the children. "Ji you're so useless you're so useless you're so useless!" she sat on the toliet stool and tears began to steam down her cheeks. "Why why is this my life?" She felt no pain as her fists pounded the stool and side of her hands began to swell. She stood up and looked into the mirror wondering about herself. Her long and black hair ran down to her shoulders, once always kept brown during her school days. She wiped the tears along her bangs while her oval face was still elipitically beautiful as she cried. She was once asked to model for a local newspaper because of her slim body and attractive face but turned it down, she didn't need the money back then.
    Ji ran into her mothers room and slid open one of the drawers filled with medicine, she took one of the capsule bottles and uncapped it while she popped a handful of pills onto her palm. She made way to end her life and swallow the sleeping pills but half way through they scattered onto the floor as someone tugged her arm back.
    "What what are you doing Ji?!" asked her mom. She had both her hands around her arm.
    "You trying to kill yourself Ji is that it?" she let go of her arm.
    She sat there, on her mothers bed staring into the wall as tears ran out her eyes.
    "Ji I love you don't be stupid" Her mother hugged her from the side. "Ji when I pass away, who's going to look after your brother and sister?" she sloutched her head over and rested it on her mothers chest. "Ji my little girl don't beat yourself up because life's not going to the way you want it to. Just look at me i've had hard days in my life too but i made it. Don't be stupid, there will be happy moments and sad moments in life. It'll pick up but you've got to live it to experience it."
    "I'm sorry mom"
    The conversation ended just like that as the two sat there in silence until she could get her thoughts back.
    That afternoon she went to work doing her usual routine setting up pool balls and serving drinks. Her lunch break was at four but she'd never eaten during that time.
    Four o'clock, she quicky ran outside and hailed a cab which took to her siblings school and she dropped them off at home, giving them each a kiss and quickly leaving back to work.
    "Ji!"
    "Yes?"
    "Do you know what time it is?" asked her manager
    "I'm sorry i had to pick up..."
    "I don't care what you had to do but you see that clock? It says four fourty five and your lunch break ends at four thrity. You're fifteen minutes late and this is your second time this week which has been going on for the past month"
    "I'm sorry Selena i promise i won't do it again or please take it out of my pay"
    "I'm sorry Ji you're going to have to leave after today"
    It was a heartbreaker hearing those words, she felt crushed."No no please don't fire me! I really need the money, I promise I won't be late I promise!"
    "Sorry" said her manager as she slipped her an envolope and walked away.
    She didn't know what to do as everything seemed to spin during that moment. She continued to rack the balls and serve the drinks, but she had no emotion in her and when her shift was over she hadn't notice people coming to hug and say goodbye to her. Later that night she wandered into a night club, invited by a co worker to join.
    The bouncers at the door frisked them and they their hand stamped going into the club. Loud techno music and bass rocked the floor while lights streaked accross the hall and smoke sputtered from the floor. She hadn't really noticed it, as she sat on the bar stool and stared into the crowd as they danced to the loud music.
    "Give us two CC's please!" said Hiu, her friend from work. She had a purple wigg on and was wearing what Ji had on. A one piece low cut skirty outfit which stopped near the buttocks. It was their work uniform. "Ji are you, hello?" She snapped her fingers and she responded.
    "Yes yea i'm here"
    "Don't be so sad i'll be here with you to drown your sorrows"
    "Oh yea thanks"
    "Tell me what's going with you?" asked Hiu
    "Well lets see.."
    "Hold that thought" said Hiu as she took a shot from the glass then signaled the bartender. "Hey you! Give me another!"
    "I don't usually drink liquor" said Ji holding onto the shot glass while she spinned the liquid swifting around the glass.
    "Just take a shot and make it quick i'm ahead of ya"
    "Ok ok.." she put the glass to her lips and quickly swallowed as the plain blended taste stuck into her mouth, it reminded her of medicine. "Now i know why i don't like liqour"
    "Here take another shot"
    "Oh what the heck.." And she took another shot then her third,forth and fifth"
    "So how you feelin Ji?" asked Hiu
    "I'm feelin kinda wavy" She waved the shot glass around her face and took another shot.
    "Haha i bet you're not satisfied yet" asked Hiu
    "Uhhhh what do you mean? I'm feelin funny right now"
    "Ji i got something for you! Look here" She had her hand under the counter a small thumb sized bag and inside she could see two pills.
    "What are those?" asked Ji
    "Well you know." She whispered in her ears "E pills"
    "You mean Ecstacy pills?"
    "Of course, here take one!" Hiu handed her a pill then she took the other one herself and downed it with the whiskey. "Go ahead take it"
    "Ummmm... i'm not"
    "Oh yea you probably need to start off with half a pill" Hiu broke the Ecstacy pill in half then dropped it into her liqour. "See that way you don't need to swallow it directly. I'm going on the dance floor so join me when you're ready." Hiu began to stagger her way off the stool and disappeared into the dance floor.
    She sat there for a few moments not knowing what to do and afraid of being alone she took the glass and quickly downed the mixed the liqour then made towards the dancefloor.
    "Oh there you are Ji!" said Hiu.
    They were many people on the dance floor and the bass was so loud they had to cup their hands around each others ears and shout from the top of their lungs to be heard.
    "Don't just stand there, dance!" shouted Hiu
    Ji began to dance, moving her body, flowing gracefully with the music. She learned her moves back during her high school days, in fact she was good at it and that attracted many guys to surround her.
    "Ji why you slut! I like that." Said Hiu
    "Huh?" she replied
    She was feeling good, she felt lite as a feather and her mind was filled with happy thoughts, the music was the best she'd ever heard and she never wanted it to stop.
    "Move move move!" shouted a voice from some where behind her.
    People around her began to pull back and she began to hillucinate, thinking they were being sucked into a dark vortex. She didn't care because the liqour and Ecstacty were making her happy..
    "Ji, just sit and wait here for second, wait for me i'll be back!"
    One minute she was dancing her butt off the next she was laying flat on the couch. She was moving at the speed of light to be at the dance floor one moment then on the couch that quick. Everything was spinning like time never existed, she felt so out of body, floatless in space being parachuted from a bungee jump which would whip lash her body into an experience so full of joy she hadn't a care in the world.
    "Beep beep beep beep beep"
    She woke up that morning in her own bed cluless of how she gotten there. The last thing she remembered was sitting on the bar stool drinking liqour and she wondered how she made it home. The door too her room peaked open and her mother walked in.
    "Ji last night a young man brought you home, he said to give you this paper" She handed her a piece of paper and Ji read it aloud " Last night you puked all over but it's ok. I'm glad you made"
    "Mom did this person send me home?"
    "Yes he even mopped up the floor for you and he looked all beat up... You puked at least four times, twice on him, he had puke on him before he even arrived here."
    "Ohhh gosh, do you know who it was?"
    "I'm not so sure but he seemed fimilar."
    "Oh darn i wish i knew who, I wish to make it up to him i really do"
    "Don't worry about it i'm sure you know him. Now get some sleep i'll make food you later alright?"
    "Mom that's ok i'll do it" She leaned up from her pillow.
    "No you're sick go back to sleep i'll do it" She left her room.
    "I wonder who it could be?" she pondered that thought until she feel back to sleep.

    -End Chapter 3

    Chapter 4

    "Oh Ha! What the hell happen to you? why do you have a black eye? you look like crap!"
    "Shut up Michael!" Said Seon
    He continued to wash dishes as loud calls for food were being catered throughout the front of the resturant.
    "Tell me, you didn't tell me how it went with your mystery date either"
    "I was at the club last night" said Seon
    "And what happen?" asked Michael
    "Well i saw her there"
    "Who? you talking about the girl i always hear about?"
    "Yes Ji"
    "Ohh yea her name was Ji. What about? And wait! what were you doing in the club without me?!" He scrubbed the dish a littler faster.
    "Well i wanted some time alone i guess" Said Seon "Anyways i think she had too much to drink and was dancing on the platform when i spotted her then i noticed some guys trying to feel her up so i took her away but these guys were jerks and wouldn't leave her alone. I had to stop them from touching her so they knocked me a few time in exchange of leaving her alone."
    "You call that a few times?" said Michael "You look like a train wreck"
    "Do I?" He laughed a fake chuckle "Anyways Michael when you're done with the dishes do me a favour. I want you to take this to her" He handed Michael a box rice and fried noodles.
    "Why don't you go like you always" said Michael
    "Well you said i look like crap right?"
    "Oh yea you really do" replied Michael
    "You know the building right?" asked Seon
    "Yea you point to me it all the time"
    "Floor 16 Door 556, dont forget it!"
    That afternoon Michael knocked on the door to the old crumbling apartment. Not sure what to expect the door slid open and standing before him was an angelic face, a person so beautiful his heart beat out of joy, he stood speechless.
    "Who is this?"
    Her voice soft and chimed like an angel Michael stuttered as put the rice box on the floor.
    "Thi this thi this is Seon i mean Michael i mean Seon's friend."
    "Oh yes i was wondering who the person last night in the club was.. I wanted to thank him very much"
    "Oh that person was me" Said Michael right away.
    "Was it you really?" Ji unlocked the gate "Come on in"
     
    #1 hadouken, Aug 3, 2007
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2008
  2. Taxloss

    Taxloss Stripper Vicar

    Wahey...not bad at all so far. (Yes, I've read it all) So the friend of Seon (Hyn) is trying to steal his friends love target eh?

    Btw, are you going to finish this story?
     
  3. She led him in the apartment and told him to wait while she shouted from the kitchen
    "What do you like to drink? I'm sorry if i don't have any beer" jokingly
    "Thats ok i don't drink anyways" he replied
    "Really? I'm glad u don't otherwise i wouldn't be here right?"
    "Yeaaaa..." He replied trying to sound like he understood
    "You know thanks for last night, i remember someone helping me home safely but i wasn't sure who but now i know"
    She handed him a cold can of cola smiling and he quickly opened it downing it as slowly as he could so he could think of a story to tell her.
    "Yes those guys were going to do something to you so i bumped in and whooped their butts easy as that"
    "Oh for real?" She blushed and squeezed his arm pretending to admire "I'm glad you saved me from those weirdos"
    "No problem!" Smirked Michael shyly


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    writers block! it took me half an hr to write that.... writin for fun update again one day.

    .
     
  4. chickenutbread

    chickenutbread Well-Known Member

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    i hope you have more of this story somewhere in your mind :D i want to know the ending!