THE RED LANTERN (working title) w.i.p

THE RED LANTERN (working title) W.I.P workprint

Some Info

To be a novel

Story's based mid 20th century (1940) during ww2, 2 Chars right now are about 15 and 16 (changed from 12-13 for now), remote farming village or somewhere in asia (china) . yes they are asian.

Well if you're up for the daunting task of reading (please do not pretend you've read it and reply because i won't read urs either =P) but if you do out of intrest then i apologize in advance for any errors/grammer/structure problems/wording because they haven't been ironed out. This has been an off on projector for me that started in 2004 and haven't really touched in a couple years. I've posted this on a couple of places and only so far 1 person is have known to have genuinely have read it =P


The Red Lantern

Tien called out to his younger sister, whom was trailing behind him by twenty paces or so. "Hurry Up Lin!"

"Slow down I’m tired!" Cried Lina

"Oh Alright, we can break here I guess." Tien sat down, on the grass as he waited for his sister to follow.

"Wow, beautiful day isn't?" Lina asked choking to grasp for air.

"Yea, notice that the clouds look funny? Like the drawings on the tapestry we have at home."

"Yeaaaa, I’ve never seen anything like it before." Lina replied.

"Maybe the gods are doing something great today"

"I saw dad burning hell money today" Lina replied.

"Oh it must be ghost day.”

"You mean the day the dead come back to visit the earth and for some reason we're supposed to burn them hell money? I hate ghost day. Remember grandma? I think I saw her spirit last night."

"Did you do or say anything?”

"Yea, I called her name but she only stared at me.”

"Why you lying for?"

"I'm not lying! It's the truth"

"Well if you're telling the truth then you're a brave idiot! Don’t try to with communicate with the dead because they'll attach their spirit to the house and forget to reincarnate, even worse she might attach herself to you and follow you into every house u move to. Scared?"

"Whatever! She loved me very much; I don't think she'd do anything bad to me. Unlike you - I think she hates you."

"Liar"

"Nope, she said you're very troublesome and she'd rather have me as her only grand child"

"Whatever lets go. We’ve got to see what’s over this hill. I heard there lies the biggest abandoned house in the entire village.”

"Cool, lets go." replied Lina excitedly.

At the peak of the hill they stopped to admire the view. Beyond them lay a vast blue river, its size colossal that it caught the couple by surprise and drew their eyes to blink quickly several times, as if they'd caught a bug in their eyes. You’d almost think they'd never seen a large pool of water before. Beyond the river were trees which gathered together so tightly, they'd almost cover any light from penetrating through their leaves, if it were not for the occasional powerful gusts of wind. From their angle they could see a dock and a tiny raft abandoned by its owner. Tien's heart raced as his thoughts wandered about the raft and adventuring to the other side of the river. He had already set plans on wandering down to the docks and discovering the other side but he knew that be would another time. Today he would explore abandoned the house.

"I found it I found it! The house, it’s over there!"

"Huh?" Tien replied with confusion set upon his face.

"Stop day dreaming, I found the house it’s over there." Lina pointed with her left thumb down towards the valley, guiding it slowly to a spot on which the old house laid.

"Why are you pointing with your thumb?"

"So you'd have a harder time finding it. See how your eyes were squinting? I like to annoy you like that."

"Next time you should use your thumb to suck on!” Tien replied sounding annoyed.

"Let’s go, but be careful, this hill's steep and hold onto my hand, I have a feeling you'll lose grip and roll all the way down."

Lina knew her brother was probably right. She held onto his hand while grabbing onto whatever chunk of grass she could grasp for leverage as he led their descent.

Mighty trees ancient, big and tall loomed over their tiny bodies as their shadows cast darkness over them. The moving clouds lingered furiously shaping the shadows rapid formation beneath the sun, making it feel as if the trees were alive. The hollowing of the wind through empty trunks of trees bickered relentlessly as the couple stopped to discuss their sense of direction.

“Doesn’t it feel weird?” asked Lina while brushing off the dirt on her knees.

“What?” replied Tien

“The ground”

He walked a few steps back and fourth testing to feel the pavement beneath him. “Yea the grass looks soft but it feels like walking on lumpy pebbles.”

Lina kneeled down and pulled out a chunk of grass from the ground. “It’s all dirt and grass I guess.” She got up and stood beside her brother.

Tien pointed his index finger towards the sky then motioned it towards the forest. “The house should be about a mile or two that way.”

“That’s south east right?” asked Lina.

“Yea I think.”

“What time is it?”

Tien glanced at his watch waiting seconds for the dials to hit twelve. “It’s exactly Twelve now. And don’t mention about being hungry because you ate it all.

Lina felt a numbing feeling run into her stomach as she was just about to ask him the exact thing. “Yeah yea I know.” Lina replied, trying to sound annoyed. They proceeded to move towards their destination.

The forest got quieter as they walked deeper into the forest. The wind calmed and the quick chirpings of the birds were replaced by the sounds of crickets and hoots of other strange creatures. They could hear the occasional yells of animal’s lurking in the bushes and to the corner of their eyes; they could sometimes see quick movements dashing in and out of their covert spots. The trees looked bigger and tighter as leaves detach from their twigs and scattered around the air before landing down towards the green grass. They walked along observing the forest activities, discussing about their daily events and what was to become of next. The couple drew to a halt as the sounds of drums, bells, singing and other instruments caught their attention.

“You hear that?” Lina asked.

“Sounds like an opera” Tien replied.

“An opera in the middle of the forest?”

“Probably Gypsies, lets go see what it’s about”

They moved along the forest path following the sounds of the music until it was loud and visible before them. A wooden makeshift stage was implanted in front of two large trees to where the actors were jumping on, wearing clothing of great elegance which seemed to spawn from another place in time. Horns above one’s head and spikes poking out from the silver linings of one’s shoulder, their buttoned silk shirts embedded with pictures of dragons and tigers down the middle, pants of silk in colours of blacks and gold. Their face and hands painted white, while their cheeks pink with lines of black over their brows to represent their roles as demons and gods. They sang in a sad melodic tone which chimed so softly and so beautifully that Tien and Lina both took on a seat in without knowingly doing so.

“How come there are many benches but no observers?” Lina asked.

“They’re probably rehearsing”

“So this is what an opera is like?” She paused a moment to concentrate on the show. “It’s Beautiful”

“I think it should be called, War of the gods. That’s what I think it’s about.” replied Tien

They watched enchantingly as the performers clashed swords and sang with poetic words they could not seem to understand. Tien was overtaken as he looked on. His body felt relaxed and he began to sink into a trance which his mind had little control over. He continued to observe, feeling an extreme pleasure set over him. He observed the show dazed, but it didn’t take him long to notice how one of the performers were trying to get his attention, glancing at him from time to time and would sometimes purposely strike at floor with his prop sword. He gave no thought to it at first but then he could see it. He now knew why the opera was held in such an isolate location and why the benches were empty and the reason for the cold spot he felt when he first sat down on the bench. Fear bolted through him as he fought to regain control over his body, mind and soul, he knew he had to. He began to recall a bedtime story his grandmother once told him as a little child.

It was the story about her youth and how she’d gotten selected by the village to sing for the dead. It was the way the locals avoided haunting and bad luck happening to the village. The entertainers would rotate daily to perform for the dead. The stage was held in the woods not far from the village. They were required to start at twelve each night. It was her first night and they’d given her a red lantern explaining to her the importance of it. “This lantern will make you invisible to demons and ghosts, its light will reveal their true form. Always keep the light burning and have it very close to you.” They reminded her to light incense when she got on the stage so the ghosts could see her. At the show during the middle of her performance a young man sat down to watch. After the performance he left without acknowledging her. The next morning there was news of a demonic possession. It was the same man who admired her earlier, being held by three priests in the local square. His face riddled with cuts and his wrists slit while blood came running to the ground. A man rushes over to bandage him but he was dead.

A priest walks over to her and asks “Luna, has this man been to your show while you were entertaining the dead?”

“Yes. He came during the middle of the performance and left when it ended. I didn’t get a chance speak with him.”

“How long did he stay for?”

“About half an hour”

Confirming his suspicion he began to tell her about the situation. “His sister tells me he set off during the night to proclaim his love to some one. I guess that person was you.”

“But I didn’t know him”

“Well your secret admirer’s been possessed by a spirit.”

“What, how?”

“The area you performed on is sacred. When incense is burned on that stage, you open up a temporary gateway from the land of the dead to the world of the living. They gather on the bench to watch the show and are pulled back to their world once the incense distinguishes. Now you and your admirer could not see them as he sat down. What he didn’t know was that he sat within a spirit which, during an open gateway can cause a soul to be trapped inside a living body. It is not easy for a spirit to possess someone but this time he not knowingly merged it within him.

“I thought spirits are always aiming to possess people so they could enjoy living again. Why did this one kill itself?”

“This spirit was a high mistress in the land of the dead. She felt more important where she was.

“Oh”

“A possession can be driven out alone if one has a strong mind and will. That boy has such a handsome face. It’s a pity you didn’t get to know him.”

Luna said her goodbyes to the priest and walked home remembering what the priest told her that day.

The incense placed on the stage behind the performers burned quickly. Its life nearing end and through Tiens eyes meant everything. He was afraid of losing himself and of what is to happen if it were to diminish.
Tears rolled from beneath his eyes and his mind sank into delusion as vague thoughts and images of another life he never knew fell into memory. They weren’t his yet he tried so hard not to think about it and to break free but in the end he succumbed and closed his eyes waiting for fate to take hold of the next event to happen to him.

Eyes opened seeing nothing but the dark.

“Where am I?”

Arms stretched forward feeling nothing but space.

“My Body’s still here, everything in tact I can’t be dead. Where am I? Don’t panic Tien”

Walking forward with arms stretched ahead he began call out. “Hello? Is anyone there? Hello? Help!

A chuckle was heard.

“Hello? Where are you?”

“Ha hah ha hah ha hah”

“Please can you help me? I don’t know where I am”

“He he he he he he he he”

“Please!”

He pleaded, begged and searched for the voice behind the laughter until he fell weak on the floor shaking and pondering about the situation. Giving up he stood and moved forward, arms extended ahead determined to find a way out of this darkness. He walked slowly and cautiously in the beginning until he realized there were never any obstacles to block him. He ran sticking to his one direction crying for help until his voice gave out. He wasn’t afraid of being alone no; it was the darkness which bothered him. It was the never ending void of emptiness and silence which covered his senses of reality. If there were just a bit of light he would be able to think clearly, and to his surprise there was one.
A faint light rippled through the dark luminating far off across the side. Hope was in heart as ran hastily towards it never seeming to get there until it shone luminously before his sensitized eyes. A lantern lay on the floor, the source of the light, green and luminating faintly, ugly yet beautiful for a source of hope. He picked it up and put his face to it observing the details. Round and bulky, plain in detail, two strings for handles, alternatively a stick, green fire lit the candle from inside, it dazzled him, “A green flame, how is that possible?” He spent many more moments staring at the object until finally taking attention away, a sight startled and shocked him toppling to the floor reeling backwards clutching to a stern hold of the lantern. Scared he was as the sight of hundreds of souls much like himself wandering aimlessly throughout the dark. Men, women and children of all ages intertwined in their own void hopelessly lost in the zone of spiritual possession. Their voices were inaudible yet he knew what they were crying for. He could not touch nor could they see or hear him. He knew they were in their own zone and only faith and will power could set them free. Remembering the many stories his grandmother used to tell, he now realized he was in a zone of possession the dimension between the living and the dead, where nothing really exists and where souls are lost.

“I’m stuck in a world of lost souls, how am I going to get out?” he set the lantern down and kneeled before it. “This lantern… why would it be here? It must have been brought in from someone on the outside, but how?” He picked up the lantern and began to examine it more closely then he last did before. The light glowed translucently through the fragile paper as he fixed his eyes on the ball, checking every inch of the object carefully but still failing to find anything out of the ordinary, until it accidentally slipped from his hand and fell to the floor. A tiny cloth hidden inside the lantern detached itself from within and spilled next to him. Three tiny words, were engraved on the cloth. He brought the lantern to his face and squinted his eyes trying to make out the letters. "Blood On Fire, I think that’s what it says." he closed his eyes and pondered the meaning of it "What can it mean?" He repeated the words many times over walking in circles, unconsciously tilting the lantern hoping to find another clue. Tien walked unknowingly like he did before, with each passing step came darkness and through the darkness came light which revealed what he did dreaded to see. Wandering souls, his eyes had gotten used to them, their tormented faces filled with fear, some looked as if they were running from nothing, others had a look of impending doom and disappeared before him. He ignored them as best as he could but their grief stricken faces would stick in his mind.
"Blood On Fire Blood On Fire, what can that mean?!"
He walked around many moments more before his eyes caught a glimpse of dark figures streaking accross his path. "Hello anyone?" They seem to come and go too quick for his eyes to catch, the shape silhouetted in shadows almost looked human yet he couldn' tell. "Uhhh hello?" The shadow figures seemed to zip by him left and right accross the light, it didnt matter where he turned, they were in front of him zipping by left and right, left and right, too fast for his eyes to catch.
"Where am I?"
"Who are you?"
"Heeeeelp!"
"Ahhhhhhh!"
"Mommy?!"
"Ughaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"
These were the voices that began muttering around him, a thousand cries of desperation coming at him softly first, then loudly as they drew together. He could now see and hear it coming from the souls around him, their painful cries only added sorrow and dread as he could nothing about it. "Why am I hearing them now? Why?!" He covered his ears wishing to hear no more "Please Stop! Please please please stop.."
The experience was too much for a child to take so he fell to the floor and began to weep and as the tears slid to his cheeks he wiped them off brushing with his hand "Oh why, why is this happening to me?
A loud screeching noise like a thousand chalks on board rubbing against each other ran through his ears, the sound so horrific it felt like his drums were going to brust. That noise, where's it coming from?!" He put his fingers into his ears and screamed aloud "Ahhhhhhhhh" and it stopped, everything around him vanished, the wandering souls seemed to evaporate and their voices muffed, disappearing into silence ness.
"Waa wa what's going on?"
It was like when he first arrived there, complete darkness except for the latern and its light. Everything around him gone, back into the void.

Once again Tien was relived but a feeling of danger hung around as he picked himself up and began to gather his thoughts.

"What is that?" he held on holding the lantern staring at it while his mind ran in circles, the light dimmed as a figured drew nearer.

"What the hell?" That was the last word he spoke before realizing something had gripped him holding him hostage as his body froze he felt a strange familiar feeling, the feeling of terror and of life draining out of him, the same one he'd experienced previously at the opera. He stood there paralyzed and could see a cold frosty human like arm, white as snow which had veins that pumped up and seemed to look grossly alive on its own. Shifting his eyes down Tien was shocked to see the arm was not only under him but passed through his stomach looking as if it were draining the life essence out of him. Just beyond the arm he could see the surroundings around him fade, getting darker and darker as if it were slowly being shadowed by clouds.

He felt weak and sleepy as moments passed by he knew it was some how taking his life and he couldn't stand around and let himself lose again.

"Tien you must try, think, think of something!"

The only thing he could move was his eyes and he shifted them in all directions looking for a clue to break him free.

Looking down he realized his hand had a grip on the lantern and the strange arm was just beneath it.

"The lantern! Well since it’s a charm of some sort, then if I manage to drop it on the arm then it might just somehow have an effect upon it."

Settling on the plan Tien poured all his energy into unlocking his grip upon the lantern, and surprisingly his arms began to tremble lightly at first then violently as he concentrated harder pushing his energy into losing his grip. The lantern swung sideways left and right left and right until it eventually loosened and fell under bouncing off the mysterious flesh which was gripping him, it quickly withdrew and revealed a long human like hand pale and white with red sharp piercing finger nails five or six inches long. It withdrew back into the shadows and let out a loud "Shreeeeeeek!"

"So that was the sound which were killing my ears"

Tien was now free and he quickly picked up the lantern to see the creature in front of him licking its fingers only a few foots away. He thought it might have been human at first but not quite for it had the shape and body of a human except the skin colour white, a pale white. It would be whiter if the creature were outside. It had hair on its head but seemed to be failing with patches of bald spots. The face looked twisted like a beast partially mixed with human. It had no teeth and one of the eyes were missing while the nose half gone. The naked creature twice the size of Tien stood on its two feet and claw like arm looking at Tien as if it were about to lunged at him.

"What the hell?!" Tien thought to himself

He began to back away from the creature holding the lantern high up into the air then he quickly ran, which he later thought was a mistake because there came the creature running on both its feet and legs quickly making ground just behind him.

Tien ran the race of his life, running so fast he almost felt like flying, true indeed because there he was flying across the darkened air and tumbling violently on the floor bruised and bleeding. He'd tripped on his own feet and was sure the end was near.

"The lantern the lantern!" He stumbled around the floor and crawled towards it.

"Good it's still burning"

He was happy there was light but his hand was bleeding and blood came dripping down the stick of the lantern as he quickly got up to run from the creature it shrieked a loud shriek and he knew it was behind him.

“Please don’t kill me please don’t kill me!” He held the lantern above his face shielding it from the creature waiting for it to claw or kill him but it didn’t, it stared at him and it seemed to squirm in annoyance backing away then returning to observe him. Many times it shrieked and clawed at the air and ground and many times it narrowly hit him.

Tien hadn’t noticed but the light emitting though the lantern had turned red and seemed to glow brighter then before. The only thing he knew was to stay very still while backing away slowly from the creature until it faded deep into the dark, far away from sight.


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Continuation of the story i thought was a ok so will maybe rewrite
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Rested on the floor he quickly thought of running but the still air beseiged the area and visions of oaks, barks, leaves and trees ascended the site uncovering the darkness into light. He was now strangly standing between tall gigantic bamboo trees, in front of him a paved mudded road that lead to a tall platform. He could see no more, only as far as the lantern permitted. He decided to follow the road following it when suddenly a band of soldiers came marching behind him thumping their foot onto the mud chanting their exercise.

"On forth On forth On forth On forth company march On forth On forth On forth On forth" "Move it kid move it!"

He was shoved aside and not wanting to be alone quickly gave chase "wait wait for me!" he yelled but they kept on marching moving so quick that when he caught up with them he was standing on the platform.

"What do you want kid?" asked a soldier.

"Where am i?" he asked

"Can't you see? You're at a train station!" yelled another soldier.

It struck him by awe and he looked around scoping the surroundings finally realizing where he was. He could see the railway beneath the platform leading to the tracks and behind were people squating or rested against walls, some laying on benches and having idle conversations while mothers clung onto children tightly.

"Is this the living world" asked Tien

"Are you crazy kid? Or has the war gotten to you? The captain said the war is over so go home kid, go home like the rest of us!" said the soldier

"You're dead! You're all dead! Don't you know? The kid is right!" came voices from behind

"What?! Shouldn't u be cheering for us? We just won the war" replied the soldier

"Don't you know? You're all dead because the train here stops only to take passengers to the underworld" replied a voice.

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A long *gasp* from the crowd and an awe to their faces while everyone chattered with one another reassuring each other that this was not true.. "But it is true" yelled another person from the crowd, it was the battalion commander himself. There was a gawking silence immediately followed by a "Lieutenant surely this is a joke!" exclaimed one of the soldiers jokingly.

"Do you not see why i have led you here?" he points towards a person from the crowd and signals him to come forward. An old figured walks up in a shredded robe and stands beside him.

"This old man here is a buddhist monk and our guide to the other side. He is the one who has guided our lost souls to this place, without him we would be wandering ghosts"

"He's crazy! your commander is crazy!" shouts a voice from the crowd. "the war has certainly gotten to him" yells another and then another voice all taking in unison as if they believed he was truly crazy.

The monk suddenly spoke "If you do not believe us then please think about the last moment you remember before being here"

Again there was a large chatter amongst themselves but this time everyones toned were panicked.

"I last remember facing the firing squad of the Japanese troops... i should be dead already how did i get here?" mutters a person "I should be dead too last i remembered was facing a beheading from a Japanese troop", "i thought i intentionally sacrificed myself by throwing myself on a grenade.."

There were loud cries of despair and disbeliefs as people began recall the last moments before their deaths, they were beginning to believe what the lieutenant and the monk had said were true...

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meh just updatin the story and writin for myself after a year, i feel like updatin my other epic romance story too =P

 

ANGGGGGG -hellothar


OKIES I READ IT....!!!...I THOUGHT ITS REALLY WELL DESCRIBED.....AND I CANT
WAIT TO READ MORE.....I WANNA KNOW WHUT HAPPENED TO LINA...AND I <3 THE
WAY HOW YOU PORTRAYED LINA...ESP WHEN SHE ASKS "Lina felt a numbing feeling run into her stomach as she was just about to ask him the exact thing. “Yeah yea I know.” Lina replied, trying to sound annoyed..."....SO CUTIEEE.....^^..

THE BIT WHEN IT GOES ALL DARK TO HIM FINDING THE LATERN....IS UBBBER
DESCRIPTIVE....TO THE POINT THAT I COULD PICTURE IT AS I WAS READING IT
WHEN I GOT TO THE PART WHEN HES FIGHTING THE 'SHADOW'/GHOST THING WAS
EXCITING....!!!...



ADD OIL ANGG...!!!...~~~~:biggthumpup:

 

its hadouken now haha.....

 

Nice story, rough, but has a lot of potential. Just a few suggestions, FYI:

The possibility of a 15 or 16 year old in a 1940's remote farming village of China being in possession of a wrist watch is almost absurd.

A battalion commander is at least a major, not a lieutenant (who generally commands a platoon).

Distinguish does not mean the same thing as Extinguish.

OK, now you have to read my story (started writing this while on vacation two years ago and just never got back to it...), see the next thread: The Western Remorse