Who am I? I wonder if i'm the person who nobody sees (when i'm alone), or the person that everyone sees me as (frds & family etc). A lot of people say that others don't see the 'real them' but what exactly do they mean by this?? I've always interpreted this as people thinking there is more to them than what's on the surface. I used to think (and sometimes still do) people don't know the 'real' me because i feel that i naturally act differently towards different types of ppl, depending on their authoritical status-- whether they are close to me etc-- at one time i felt completely lost within myself because i couldn't decide whether which 'me' is the real one. Is it when i'm alone or with my friends? or with my family? or even with those whom i do not know? it's confusing i know, but in the end i guess i'm just whoever that person perceives me to be because i'm only the person who they see through their eyes, and their eyes only. Fine so i got the 'how-other-people-see-me' bit sorted, but still i did not find the answer to the question 'WHO AM I??' -a very personal question, in which i still don't know and have no theory or calculation in how i can work it out, and i guess have no intention to find out. I know there are people who say they're the same in front of everyone, and have no confusion in their 'real-self' either.. are you one of them? 'cause if you are, you're v. lucky!
i think we have two different sides....one in public and one in prviate. but the real one is of course in private...the public one is just an appearance, a mask of deception. We can never be too comfortable in public.
i took psychology and they did explain this within their teachings on personalities, i may have forgotten the terms but i still remember the concept behind it. When you are in the company of friends and family (people you are natural close with) you will put up a front to show them 'this is how i am' while you are in the presence of professionals/authoritive figures you project a different front, people do this because they feel they wish to be accepted in the professional world and be acknowledged... the person YOU are is the moment you wake up and all the moments you are alone ( and know you will be alone) your actions and decisions will define you, you just have to look for them and analyze yourself.
you act a certain way for: friends parents grandparents employer strangers babies and for when your alone (or think nobody is looking/listening) All these things define the person, acting one way with everyone is something ive never come across and sounds pretty boring and robotic. im not talking about idiotic 'fronts' though, thats a whole other issue.
ye its weird that, i find that i tend to act slightly different too but they are all parts of u unless its like a relative who u completely act differently towards. i believe its just ur response to a different environment.
I think that everyone has a basic self with their own intrinsic values and principals. This basic self then adapts to the people in the environment. You can be comical with your friends and family but at work you can still be funny but in a more subdued sort of way. I guess just as long as you are not uncomfortable or feel that you are pretending (big time), you are all right.
For different people, you have different ways of how you would act or speak to them, depending on the relationship.
I don't got much friends, but I got family. I found that my friends only hung out with each other and as a group because they didn't want to have attachment to their family and they only used their circle of friend as a bond. It's not bad, but in life, blood is thicker than water. Circle of friends come and go because a friend won't give up his/her life for the group; but a family member would.
1. What people perceive you as. 2. What you perceive yourself as. 3. What is still unknown to yourself and others. (eg an extreme event occurs that may bring out a side of you that you or others never thought existed) All 3 = you
i actually don't talk much with family but i once tried to treat my sister like a friend of mine. and it became strange. i guess we better act differently for different ppl
Like a danish writer once said: "You can't compare change on behaviour with changing mask. Wearing a mask implieds that there's a face behind the mask". This is what I believe. There's no real you, the real you is the shapeshifting one
^ that's so deep. For me, it feels like everyone is bounded by the society to hide the 'real them' from everyone else. Partially for status reasons, and sometimes for protection.. showing the real you means opening up about everything about yourself and this includes their weaknesses (and it's not always a good idea to show your weaknesses to those who may be competing against you for the same job..lol).
Lol people say that to me too... What is the "real" me... I alway says... I'm who I'm... And it's true that i'm different with different people but that doens't mean i'm not real... I just act different... Real is something for yourself... Something you think and experience... that's real for me... And the real me... So yes... Nobody have ever seen the "real" me.. except me
Society basically prevents someone from being their true self, by meeting certain requirements under the law and doing it for the better whole, instead on individual desires (Gosh, I sound like Rousseau). And friends and family plays in account as well.
