Hi All This is a fictional story i made up. Hopefully you guys can give me some feedback. NIGHT 1 Ten’s dairy ======== Hi my name is Ten. I don’t know why my name is Ten. I kept asking my mother why & she said it just popped up in her mind when I came out. I thought probably I was born at 10 o clock or I was born on the 10th day or the 10th month. Anyway, I am 15 years old. I live with my mother in a small but very nice and comfortable house near my grandparents (only 5 minutes walk away). Everyday after school I would go to my grandparents and stay there until my mum gets home from work. My mother is a computer systems engineer, it is a rare career for a female I heard. Angi my mum’s best friend said that it is good to work in a profession where there are more males because you have more opportunities to find romance and love. But I have never seen my mum dated before. Not even once. Like there are guys who visit us here & there but they are my mum’s work friends, especially this guy name Tu. Mum said that because of guys like Tu she doesn’t need to find romance or love. I wonder why sometimes. Oh well, adults they are very complicated. I remember one time I asked my grandparents who is my father. My grandparents would keep quiet and ignore the subject. I also asked my mum but she always say I am your dad as well as your mum. You have no dad that’s what makes you unique. But I am old enough to understand the concept of the birds and the bees so regularly I would ask my mother or grandparents but they would just ignore me. Today is my first day of school in year 10. Today our school has a new teacher. He is our maths teacher as well as my home room teacher. He seems like a very nice person. We call him Mr To but I heard that he’s first name is Jin. He has very dark hair, wears glasses, around he’s late 30s (however looks like early 30s) but look very gentleman like. Those people who you can see that they are very educated and respectful in that area which I believe when he was in school people would consider NERDS. Most importantly today, I get to be in the same class as my best friend Naomi and my secret crush Wayne. Naomi and I have been friends ever since kindergarten. She is very pretty and most guys would want to date her hence she is very confident of herself and have many boyfriends. For me people say that I’m cute, but I don’t know if that is just one of those polite compliments but I hope Wayne thinks I’m cute. Naomi keeps telling me why I like him because he is so boring. He doesn’t talk to anyone and always silent. He is one of those people where you can’t tell what they are thinking because they always have the same face expression. But because of that reason I find him very interesting, very mysterious. We never really talked, only when sometimes I ask him questions and he would just answer yes or no. Anyway mum called me to dinner Fi’s diary ======= Today was such a tiring day. That stupid manager always complains and these clients expect this and that when they don’t’ know how difficult it is in the programming perspective. I should have never been a programmer, no wonder it is suitable for males not females since females are born to order people around. At least there is Tu who keeps telling me all these stories about how he manage to get away from cheating on he’s wife which helps me to not think about work. Sometimes I wonder why bother to get marry if you keep cheating on your spouse. That’s why nowadays marriage doesn’t have the same meaning as before it’s like a joke. I believe marriage doesn’t really have any meaning. People only wants to get marry because they are afraid they will live alone which leads them to think positive things about marriage like love and all these happily ever after endings. My point of view, love is only an illusional word for I’m desperate and I want to get marry. It’s all the head playing mind games. That’s why I believe that Tu’s wife probably knows he’s cheating on her but she doesn’t care because as long as she gets the title MRS. Its like my best friend Angi. Angi is a very nice person, very good friend, she is good in almost all areas except for being desperate. Her first husband cheated on her with her neighbour and her 2nd husband ran away with all her money (he also took her dog with him) and she still wants to find husband number three. That’s why technology is the best since without it I don’t think I have a wonderful daughter like Ten. Ten is the best thing in my life, everyday after work no matter how stress I am, as soon as I see her my day is complete with happiness. She is so smart and cute too (she has my looks you see), nice long black hair, nice round eyes like in those Japanese animations and when she smiles it just feels up with light. But the thing that scares me most is that how am I going to tell her who her father is. I know that she is a very understanding type of person and not stubborn headed like I am (but thanks to my stubbornness I got Ten) but 1 day I believe she will forcefully ask who is her father. I hope by that time I still remember he’s name. Jin’s Diary ======== First day teaching at a new school has always been exciting and quite scary. You get to see the new students and I always wonder if they have a good impression towards me. So far it seems positive, the students look like nice students and hopefully we have a wonderful year. Everything at work seems very good, nice staffs and school too. Today overall ended up a nice day except for my womanizer friend Andy who I hope one day will find the one woman that will break he’s heart. We always fight about these things, he only believes in one night stand or casual dating. Sometimes he would date two or more partners at once and if he gets caught he doesn’t even care. He is a heart-breaker, but because of he’s stunning good looks and sweet lips females can’t resist him. I kept asking him why he doesn’t try to be loyal to one woman, fall in love and get marry. He always say love is only love if it’s from both parties. So I kept telling him generally what you give is what you get. If you genuinely give all your heart to someone you will get it back in return if it is at the perfect opportunity. But he always argues and say that love is about being greedy, taking advantage of the other partner. So if that is the case why don’t I be on the advantage side? I always believe that generally we are what we are is because of our experiences, our surroundings and the environment we live in. We are like this is generally because of our parent’s up bringing, the things they teach us and the things we pick up due to our experiences in life. Another strong influence are the friends we make (hence that’s why our parents always afraid of who we hangout at school). I don’t’ believe that someone is born with that particular characteristics built in them like a robot with these features programmed in them. That’s why everyone is born with pros and cons because they lack experience in this or that hence they pick up this pros or this cons. But of course I do believe people are born with natural abilities, like this person may seem weak but if the time arises they might be stronger than you expect just that they didn’t get the opportunity to execute their abilities. That is why sometimes even we do not know ourselves until something hits us. Most important thing in life is stick to your believes and always try our best because we never know unless we try. I can see that Andy has lost all hope because of previous experiences. Hopefully one day another experience will help him to believe again because I have known him for almost 8 years now, and deep down I know he is not a player, I can tell but because of he’s past he is like this similar to my childhood friend john. Before he used to believe in love and finding the one but after so many failures he later gave up and lost all confidence. From what I see of John is that he keeps falling for the wrong one, he falls too easily and if anyone is nice to him he gives he’s heart straight away and people take advantage of that. How I see it is John has the qualities what he does to get love is correct but he just applies it to the wrong people meanwhile Andy does meet the right people but he doesn’t have the qualities. I believe for everything to work there must be two to tango. You must have the quality and also opportunity at the same time. I sometimes wonder back then if I had the opportunity would she had accepted me because I always believe that if you are genuine with your feelings and you are at the right timing the chances of succeeding is very high. Oh well its bedtime. There is always a tomorrow to look forward too. NIGHT 2 Ten’s Diary ========= Tomorrow is parent/teacher’s night. Every year about 1 month after school begins our school have this event where the parents meet up with the home room teacher. I wonder what Mr To will say about me? I really like Mr To he is the best teacher I have so far. He is always nice and calm. He doesn’t shout at he’s students but always think of other ways to calm the class down. And he really knows how to teach. He always explains everything so well and gives a lot of examples. In maths he gives a lot of examples that are base on real life situations which makes it easier for us to understand. He tells us to think outside of the box and there is more than one way to solve every problem. I really admire Mr To, I believe he’s a great father. I wonder if he’s married and who is he’s wife and kids. I always wanted a father and I really want mum to find someone special. Grandma said once to me that growing old with the right one is the best thing in life. It feels JUST LIKE HEAVEN. I know deep down that my grandparents really want my mum to get marry but they say because mum is like a tigress, she scares all the men away. I think she needs to find the right guy who can tame her. If I have 1 wish I wish my mum and Mr To (that is if he’s single, it’ll be bad to break-up a family) will get marry and he can become my father or at least my mum end up with someone like Mr To. Anyway it’s bedtime probably that’s why I’m dreaming. But it’ll be interesting what mum thinks of Mr To tomorrow. Jin’s Diary ======== Tomorrow will be parent teacher’s night. I always get nervous on those occasions. Wonder what my students say about me to their parents. I am very excited to see my students’ guardian, especially Ten’s parents. Somehow she seems very special. I don’t know why but I have this feeling she is unique. I am not the type that favours one student more than the other but I don’t know why I just have this feeling towards her. It’s like we are related or something. I feel like I’ve known her for years. I remember on the first day of school when Ten introduced herself I had this weird feeling, it felt like you heard of this person from somewhere and what you hear from them makes you really want to meet them and you finally have. Tomorrow should be an interesting day. Bed time now I think I need my beauty sleep (well in my case beastly sleep). NIGHT 3 Fi’s diary ======= Yesterday and three quarters of today was like hell. Yesterday I had to work overtime, come home late and slept straight away. Today I had to rush my work so that I could make it to the parent teachers’ night. I then came late but luckily Ten’s home room teacher waited. I was the last parent and thought he might not wait for me considering I came almost an hour late. Mentioning of Ten’s teacher Mr To, he is really nice like Ten said. At first I thought kids, teachers who give them less homework they say nice but as soon as I came in today he immediately realised that I was late because of work. I was surprise that I even told him about my work problems and after I told him and we talked a bit about it I felt a lot better. This guy should change he’s career and become a psychologist. However the thing that really shocked me is he’s name Jin To. Tonight when Ten told me he’s full name I thought it can’t be who I think it is. I remember reading from the files he was a tax accountant for a large tax firm. Sides there are a lot of people in this world with similar names and the world can’t be that small. Nevertheless I am happy that Ten has a great teacher like him. Jin’s Diary ======== I can’t believe I saw her today. What a small world. Kim’s a mother now and her son goes to the same school. It’s been a long time since I last saw her, probably almost 15 years now. I never forget the first time I saw Kim in uni. She was talking to a class mate of mine and we got introduced. When I first saw her smile it was like seeing a diamond for the first time. I don’t know how to explain it but with some people when you first see them you can see their personality and characteristics written all over them, and she is the type that I so much want to grow old with. Even till now I don’t know what that feeling was, I don’t know if that was love at first sight but all I know is that I felt this strong feeling flowing all over me when I saw her. I never felt anything like that until I met Kim. When we were together I felt extremely happy, we could talk about anything, even the most boring topic but I still felt like I won a mega draw lottery. The incident with Kim makes me wonder even till now the question WHAT IF? What if she and I had the opportunity to know each other closer and I met her at the right time when she was single. Would she have given me a chance? In Uni Kim later changed course so I didn’t get to know her until 1 day she became an employee in the same company I worked for. I was an accountant for a large tax corporation then and Kim applied for an administration job. We later became quite close but at that time she was engaged. The closer I got to her the more I felt for her until I remember that day I couldn’t’ hold on anymore and I told her how I felt. My purpose was to tell her my feelings (although deep down I really wanted her to choose me), I believe everyone has the right to tell how they feel for the other person. After that I was so depressed and sad that I quit my job and didn’t care much about life anymore. Looking back the incident with Kim I have learnt a lot. I realised in life if it is not meant to be it won’t be no matter how hard we want it. I believe that everything happens for a reason. We may not know what that reason is until later on, but we must always stand up when we fall and never to give up. Tomorrow is a new beginning and yesterday was a learning experience. We learn from the past and move on, don’t keep it with us. If we keep holding on to our past we will never move forward. I think it is time for me to move on to sleep otherwise I will be in the past in class thinking its still night time while teaching. NIGHT 4 Ten’s Diary ========= I hope nothing is going to happen to grandpa. Today after school when I got to my grandparents no one was home. I was home alone. At first I thought my grandparents went for walk (which they do occasionally) but I waited for ages. Later mum came to pick me up and we went to the hospital to visit grandpa. I heard that he had a stoke. Please let grandpa be ok. He loves me a lot and I too love him so much. He always makes everyone happy at home. That’s why I can understand why grandma loves grandpa so much. Mother has grandma’s genes grandpa said (and I have he’s genes), hence she too is very stubborn. But I notice that no matter how stubborn or strong she is grandpa always manage to make her listen. I notice that people who are strong minded and very stubborn never listens to anyone. I remember grandma said that grandpa is like cotton, no matter how hard you try to punch it or kick it. It’ll never break. Grandpa is the centre of this family, he always manage to solve every problem in the family. He’s always calm. I also learnt a lot from grandpa. He taught me a lot about life and always on the topic of being ready for the unexpected. It’s like he’s preparing me for something one day. Hopefully grandpa will be alright soon. Fi’s Diary ======= Although in life we must be ready for these kinds of things but it is still not something you want to experience. I don’t think anyone wants to see their love ones leave them. Ten is still young for these experiences. Back then I experienced losing a love one and I have to admit. No matter how strong you are the mind can’t control the heart. Once the heart experience pain it is uncontrollable. I don’t want to see Ten experience these kind of things, especially not right now, and I make sure she must never experience the pain I went through before. Losing a family member is inescapable, everyone must go through it, but I will protect Ten from getting hurt by an outsider. Jin’s Diary ======= I can’t believe that Andy. He spends so much money on chasing chicks that now he wants to move in with me to share the rent. At the moment I am trying to look for a new place, somewhere near my work. Everyday it takes me about an hour’s drive to get home and that is time consuming. It is a good idea to share the rent because houses are not cheap near the school, it is an expensive neighbourhood. Andy better not use all he’s money on girls and makes me pay all the rent. Hopefully I get a house near the school so I have more time after work since most nights I have to do homework and don’t have enough sleep. NIGHT 5 Jin’s diary ======== Now I understand why Ten has been so down lately in class. She is the type that is always cheerful, but for the last few days she didn’t say anything and sometimes I noticed tears dropping down her eyes. Today I took John to the hospital, he had food poisoning and while I was waiting I saw Ten. Hopefully her granddad gets better. By the way she explained things it sounded pretty severe. Losing a love one is very tough. That’s definitely a prerequisite experience that no one wants to go through. Fi’s diary ======= Dad’s condition seems to be getting worst. The doctor told us to be mentally prepared. I can see that although mother tries to hold her tears in front of Ten but I noticed whenever she could she wipe her eyes when she saw no one watching. I am very concern for Ten. I don’t know how this will impact her. However today I felt better after I heard what Mr To told Ten. He is really quite amazing that guy. After hearing him even I got better. Ten’s diary ========= I believe I have to be prepared. Although mum and grandma told me to go outside when the doctor spoke to them but I saw it in their eyes. Grandpa is getting worst. At first I was so upset, I thought why we must see our love ones pass away? After talking to Mr To it really made me feel a lot better. He told me that death is a part life you can’t overcome it. Losing a love one is a must in life, humans must experience both happiness and depressing moments. Happy times are easy. The true test is the hard times. Those who can survive the hard times and stand up again are those who we praise and look up too. It is a natural reaction to feel sad, depress and cry when we lose a love one. The more you love the pain you get. However we must learn to move forward, it doesn’t mean forget our love ones. They will always be in our heart, their death is an incident in our life and we can’t let an incident affects us. Remember that an incident is not the same as the person we care and love. NIGHT 5 Jin’s Diary ======== Time really flies fast when you are older. Already I’ve been working at this new school more than half a year. At first it was quite hard to get used to, you know that feeling of starting a new job where you don’t know anyone, but now everything is going very well. Andy and I we finally found a nice house, very close to my work place and surprisingly it was Ten’s grandparents’ house. After Ten’s grandpa died her grandma moved in with them. Furthermore Ten’s mum asked if I can tutor Ten couple nights after school and she will deduct that from house rent. Initially Ten’s mum’s purpose was for me to comfort Ten after her grandpa died. At first when Ten came over for extra tutoring, she was very down but now everything seems fine. I really enjoy hanging out with Ten. I feel like we are connected somehow, like we are relatives. It feels like I’m talking to my niece. Another surprise which I hope won’t turn into a disaster is that Andy has the hots for Fi. I told him not to do anything that will cross the line. Andy said that he feels that Fi is different from all the other women he’d met. Well I hope he’s telling the truth, but I sense that Fi is not the type that will fall easily. I can sense that she’s very strong. I wonder who Ten’s father is. I know that she doesn’t have a father but never heard Ten mention about him. However I’ll definitely look forward to see who her future step father will be. It’ll take more than Hercules to knock Fi of her feet. Ten’s diary ========= Mr To is the best teacher I have yet and I believe will always be the best. After grandpa’s death i go to him for tutoring but Mr To not only tutors me academically but also teaches me a lot about life. He reminds me of grandpa, very understanding and kind person. He supported me a lot and every night when I see him I felt a lot better. Now everything is back to normal. Mum and grandma are both happy again and so am I. I feel very comfortable around Mr To, so comfortable that I can talk to him about everything even my crush towards Wayne. Mr To told me that its normal to have crushes in high school. He too had one or two during his high school years but was to chicken to tell them. Mr To told me that when your young your very naïve/innocent and your believes and thinking are limited due to your lack of experience but as you grow older it starts to change. What you believe now may not be the same in 10 years time. However he said to always believe in yourself do what you believe is right, if it’s wrong you learn from it. But don’t get confuse with sticking to you’re believes and stubbornness. If you realise your believes are wrong admit it and don’t make excuses to hide your wrongs. He said those who are strong and confident in the right way are those who stick to they’re believes but at the same time willing to admit mistakes and learn from it. Always remember to say and do what you believe is right and comfortable for you. We live for ourselves and our love ones and must not be afraid of what others think. That shows weakness and those who are weak live for others and always afraid of what others think of them. Remember that no one can please everyone in the world so we should only live to please ourselves and those we believe worth pleasing. Fi’s diary ======= I’m so happy that everything is back to normal. Mum seems happy again and Ten is not sad anymore. I have to thank her teacher Mr To for that. She seems very comfortable around him and seems to like him a lot. I find that even her attitude and character have changed ever since she started spending time with Mr To. She’s starting to say and do what she wants and doesn’t seem to be afraid to tell me. Before she’s always afraid of this and that and especially what her classmates think of her. But now she seems to don’t care anymore and just do what makes her feel comfortable. That’s the type of person I want her to become. I have been trying so hard to tell her that but somehow I can’t seem to get through to her but just spending few months with Mr To she improved a lot. Now I start to wonder why he doesn’t have any children or family. He seems to be an honest man. He’s also not ugly (just kind geeky). I know that my friend Angi would jump all over him if she sees him. Talking about that woman she never learns. She always believe that being human is about finding a partner but for me why bother to live with someone if they don’t love you and be faithful to you. That is like wanting to carry a burden in your life. Of course no one wants to live alone. Loneliness is everyone’s worst fear but it is better to be alone for the right reasons then be with someone for the wrong ones.
