He was my friend freshman year of college. We studied together, we hung out, we dated girls our age. I never suspected he was capable of anything like this. I was completely shocked when I found out. I lost touch with him after 2 years, I wonder if we remained still friends would he have ended up like this?
A friend and I were discussing our friendship with him today. Would we go visit him in prison? Would we be there for him when he gets out of prison? Would we let him into our homes? I can't imagine what he's going through right now. Yes he did an awful thing, and yes he deserves to be punished for it. It's just hard to believe someone who was close to me could do such a thing. I still don't see him as a 'predator' but then again I haven't talked to him in 4 years. I think if I had the chance I would go visit him in prison, just so he knows that there are still people who care about him. I don't think I could allow him in my house though. What would you do if this was your friend?
Depends on how close that friend is to me and whether i still value the friendship. If we were pretty close, yes I'll probably go visit him/her in prison. Whether we'll still hang out together, only time can tell. But then again, you said u stopped hanging out together anyway (before the crime). Lol, if u don't allow him to your house and all that, how can you let him see that people still care for him? If you are not willing to do that, then i suggest don't even contact him in the first place becoz to do that (not allowing him into ur hse) would just show to him that he's unwelcomed and shunned by people after what he did, which would make him feel worse. Perhaps you don't have to decide on this issue now even or worry about it. Ur friend is in prison and it's a long time till he's gonna pay u a visit in ur hse. And maybe you'll feel differently then. If i were to visit this friend of mine in prison, I'll just probably ask him/her how he/she is doing. Won't be judging him/her, won't be asking any questions about "So why did you do it?" and all that. Maybe bring him/her some presents like magazines and books, a framed photo, etc. 14 years is a long time. If I think of him/her as a friend, I'd go visit him/her, perhaps not so regularly but at least once every 2-3 months or so, or maybe 6 months if i am lazy/busy. But i'll keep in touch by writing letters. Sending letters to him/her is a great way of showing that you still care and you could fill him/her on what's happening, maybe send him/her newspaper clippings, magazine clippings and stuff.
Yea I probably will never see him again, I just feel really sad for him. I'd like to be there for him, but only to a certain extent. Once a friend always a friend.
Wow, heavy! Dunno, in this case I do think it's kinda weird he could visit the girl while her parents are apparently at home, or at least the 3rd time and while they were in the playroom the parents where sleeping?! And the 11 year old must look pretty mature for her age? On the other hand, they did found images of child porn so he is a first time offender... Perhaps you can visit him to show there are still people outside who think about him (no one wants a reject that falls back in old habits when he's free) but don't let him get close to your underaged relatives or kids of friends etc?
You don't have to visit him even, maybe sending him some nice cards with inspirational words would do
Well, if you don't feel like seeing him but would like to do something, you could try sending some nice cards with inspirational words, CDs (i dunno if they have a player in there lol) etc. Eww lagged there.. sorry double posting
Child molesters get treated the worst in prison, because everyone has children/nephews/nieces, even rapists and murderers. They'll get no respect in prison.
Lol, but shouldnt the parents of the girl be held responsible. I mean who in their right mind would allow their 11 yr to meet a complete stranger off the net? Granted that what the guy did is wrong to the extreme, but the parents should pay the penality for not watching their kid properly.
hey.. if you are really his fren, then be forgiving. To err is human. You can be more careful about letting him into the house, to protect your relatives and friends. Its your right and responsibility. But if you dun think you can ever give him the benefit of doubt, and allow him to gain your trust back as a fren, then dun do anything. And forget about being a fren cos you are not. You might just end up hurting him more instead. Just being honest here. A friend in need is a friend indeed. But thats only if you are really willing to go all out and help. Not implying anything here btw.. just my take about friendship.
how old was the girl ?? u know what if thats ur friend dont judge him until u find out the facts.... my friend was charge with molesting a minor b4..... it was his ex.... they went out for 3 years he was 16 and she was 14 when they first started to go out .... and when they broke up she told the cop he molested her..... at that time he was 19 n she was 17....... and obviously they had a sexual relationship..... hes doing 3 years i think not sure......
^um.... nm.... JUDGE HIM NOW!!!! haha thats ur friend.... wow .... 11 thats pritty young.... she at least looked older right ? n lied about her age ?
