A letter to Dr. Laura

Discussion in 'Philosophy & Religion' started by fearless_fx, Sep 23, 2007.

  1. fearless_fx

    fearless_fx Eugooglizer

    Dear Dr. Laura:

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
    have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
    knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the
    homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus
    18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need
    some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws
    and how to follow them:

    When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
    pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They
    claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
    21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for
    her?

    I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
    period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how
    do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
    female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
    of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
    clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
    clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
    him myself?

    A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
    abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
    I don't agree. Can you settle this?

    Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
    defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
    vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
    around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
    19:27. How should they die?

    I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
    unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
    crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of
    two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to
    curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
    trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? -
    Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
    affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

    I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you
    can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal
    and unchanging.

    Your devoted fan,
    Jim




    lol for those who don't know. dr. laura is a radio personality.
     
    #1 fearless_fx, Sep 23, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2007
  2. Taxloss

    Taxloss Stripper Vicar

    -lol whoever wrote/typed that piece is my hero.
     
  3. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    ^Ur 'hero'? -lol Hero Joker of the day.
     
  4. Taxloss

    Taxloss Stripper Vicar

    ^ok 'hero joker' of the day then! It made me laugh anyway. -lol