i was surfing the net and happened to find this posted on a forum... some of them are really funny and some of them not so much... but here they are - ps im too lazy to translate and most of them lose their funny side through translations lol Quote: ivanlny@catcatforum "廣東話講唔正之中一最刻骨銘心36句 1.結婚去〝動物園〞﹝渡蜜月﹞ 取文件要"贈品" (正本) 2.有冇雷電顯示？﹝來電顯示﹞ 3. 最怕比佢地問我：-〝簡典扇〞﹝咁點算﹞ 〝忍影支係ben〞﹝影印機係邊﹞ 〝死手間係ben〞﹝洗手間係邊﹞ 4. 食屎路...(石屎路 ) 5. 1)冷係 = 冷氣 2)吾可必喎 = 唔好迫我 3)抱子=報紙 6. 先生……我地玩〝失蹤〞(骰盅)囉…… 7.一個內地女人想叫前面D人讓條路佢行，所以佢沿途係咁話：kiss me,kiss me , 但其實佢想講excuse me……excuse me... 8. 一個內地小姐同佢既friend講:「你地有〝陰毛〞既」 (陰謀) 9. A：嘩！你陰莖呀？B：-_-' ﹝講咩呀？﹞ 原來A 係想話：嘩！你咁勁呀？ 10. 廣東話唔正的人到茶餐廳飲野：〝唔該同我射d精〞﹝唔該同我寫d drink﹞ 11. 好多大陸人打去電話公司話要將自己部手提電話〝出煙〞( trade in) 12.有個女人問路:"先生,請問 " 侏儒村"係邊呀？.."先生都唔識答佢 (原來〝侏儒村〞=G2000 ) 13. 同事：更日晏晝個乳頭好好味！ **魚頭** 14. o係一個巴士站，眾人都等緊巴士，有個內地女人問另一人:"先生唔該，請問你有冇〝生痔瘡〞呀?"個男人頭都痕埋..(原來個女人係想問佢有冇散紙唱) 15.一班內地女人傾計,話: "我地不如做雀仔呀媽lor?".......(腳底按犘ar) 16.有一個售貨員向一個內地女人sales一條褲,佢拎起條褲拍埋個身到,然後問:"條褲有冇隊架?"跟住個售貨員唔知佢講乜..然後個女人自己摸下條褲:"噢!冇隊架"..(原來佢係話條褲冇袋.) 17.大陸女人對她的香港朋友說:"攤直射"好好玩架".....香港朋友:"咩野「攤直射」呀? 點玩架? 大陸女人:"我教你玩丫~~ (跟住拿出Nokia手機一部),呢個咪「攤直射」啦!".....(攤直 射=貪食蛇) 18. 睇一套歷史式話劇，來自大陸o既女演員話：「我唔係一個普通既女人，我係一個call機」 - 其實佢想話：「我係一個歌妓」 19. 有一個係外國留學生可能會聽過，一日ESL Class ﹝english as second language﹞既人上既學英文堂要大家做presentation，每人教一樣佢地culture既野，咁呢個中國學 生教整〝雞蛋糕〞。佢鬧出個驚天大笑話：-佢教到拂蛋個part，唔知拂蛋英文係咩A就諗住用像聲詞，佢話：「you use the fork to……**** **** **** ****……the eggs like this…… **** **** **** **** ****……唔停咁****……個老師呆左……d人係咁笑…… 20. 唔得簡樣架 - 咁樣唔得架 As a matter of fact - 我個大陸同學做present 時講成……As a mother of ****，d鬼仔係咁爆笑 21. sen生你蝕唔蝕飯？ - 先生你食唔食飯 22. 你坐乜〝能〞野？ - 你做乜諗野 23. 呢個係一個真實故事，係我朋友個媽咪聽到既，有一個內地男人整緊架單車，整整下個男人講：唉整得個〝能〞黎，個〝heigh〞又爆！ 其實想講〝唉整得個碌黎，個呔又爆〞。 24. 係街邊賣野食d大陸女人成日話：好〝令〞既〝而蛋〞、〝牛演〞、〝?而演〞同〝支肉演〞 25. 我同事落左香港都成十幾年，但係講話都仲係好大陸……有次問佢電腦問題，佢猛叫我〝Y Kick〞，又唔知佢講咩，問佢又怕佢尷尬，攪左好耐先知，原來佢話：個mouse右制，right click呀！ 26. 係我個friend話我聽ga，話說有日佢同佢亞姨去買野，佢亞姨睇中左條類似頸巾既物體，跟住有個女人走過去同佢亞姨講：〝呢條唔只可以做頸巾，仲可以用黎做衛生巾﹝圍身巾﹞〞此話一出當堂搞到我個friend呆左，佢諗好耐先領悟到呢句咁高深既說話！ 27. 我班的陳同學曰：〝唐山大地浸﹝地震﹞，呢個世界好黑un……〞 28. 我剛剛聽過一個超爆笑，有個大陸男仔有日返公司覺得自己好型，因為佢當日〝gel〞左頭。佢好開心走去同事堆，然後問：〝你地鐘唔鐘意〝口者〞頭？我就好鐘意。一班男同事在女同事前大聲串佢：〝嘩！乜你一大早講埋d咁既野？〞其實佢想問佢地鐘唔鐘意〝gel〞頭。 29. 同學：能﹝粗口音﹞sir！能sir！ 老師：你up咩呀？ 個亞sir其實係姓林既！ 30. 尋晚去食潮州野，〝ling〞住個menu在想滷水拼盤究竟有乜食，個伙計就無端端答嘴： 〝哩個老鼠拼盤係冇老鼠鵝，得老鼠蛋、老鼠腸、老鼠豬耳〞 31. 話說N年前有朝早我去麥當勞好有禮貌咁同個賣包既女人講：〝唔該豬柳漢堡丫〞 個女既同我講：〝要蛋呀〞個時我身上無乜錢，我又唔係太鐘意食豬柳蛋漢堡，於是我就好有禮貌回答：〝唔要蛋喇唔該！〞 個女人好勞氣咁講：〝你要蛋喎！〞 我開 始無乜耐性，我答：〝我唔要蛋喇，我只係要豬柳漢堡咋！〞 個女人更加勞氣咁話： 〝要蛋一蛋呀，要蛋十分鐘呀……〞 32. 話說某某在豐澤電器欲購電視機，向售貨員詢問：〝請問呢部電視機有冇電視框呀〞 售貨員莫明奇妙但仍恭恭敬敬地答：〝有〞 〝咁電視框幾多錢呀〞？ 〝太太，唔好意思要成架買冇電視框〞某某無奈地離去了。原來電視框 = Discount 33. 我阿哥係入境處辦事處到做，成日聽到d大陸人講，身份證叫〝新款證〞，出生證叫〝畜牲證〞…… 34.我：[小姐吹頭ar~想點吹!!] 小姐：[ 同我推返個言! !] 我心諗推乜鬼言ar~~ 原來佢係想講~[ 吹返個形 ] 35.我：[小姐想點剪ar] 小姐：[ 師父同我剪得神似D ] 我：[ 小姐我己經剪得好神似嫁la ] 小姐：[ 唔係神似,係要有神似 ] 我：[?] 後來我先知道佢係話要剪層次~~~ 36. 我：[ 小姐做顏色~~想做D咩色ar!! ] 小姐：[ 我想做好似森林咁o既色 ] 我：[ o下!!做森林咁o既色 ] 小姐：[係ar~~] 我心諗究竟森林係咩色~~佢想要森林D樹(綠),定D花(紅) 於是我就俾個色版佢,謎底終於解開~~ 原來佢係想染(深藍)色ar~~~"
XD... 發音不準... so much 內地mistakes =P I wonder if they even have standards for learning english... They should have kept the thing with requiring proper english and chinese to work in hong kong from mainland...
結婚去"動物園" ﹝渡蜜月﹞ Upon marrying, one goes "to the Zoo"(Honeymoon) Well, if you had seen my in-laws, the former was probably more on the money...
They're all examples from non-Cantonese speakers' mistakes. I don't find them all that bad. They're funny, alright. I find the miss-pronounciation from native speakers rather annoying. I was watching "The king of Snooker" and found that Niki Chow made tons of pronounciation mistakes.
